Episode Guide: RECORD OF LODOSS WAR

(Narse, the Dragon of Marmo attacks, miraculously without moving at all.)

Deedlit:
It's huge!

Parn:
Yeeeahhhh, baby.

Deedlit:
Asshole.

Slayn:
It is Narse, the domesticated dragon of Marmo. The people of Marmo can control his actions. It's all symbolic and stuff, so I don't really know the exact details, and it's not important anyway.

(Battle sequence. Lots of dragon forwardstrafing. Parn inexplicably takes a wack at his foot. Dragon shoots purple balls o' wind.)

Pirotess:
The enemy is attacking en masse.

Ashram:
Screw this. We're leaving. But first, I must see him again.

(The heroes somehow manage to run into a pentagram without noticing)

Karla:
Proposition. Balance

(The dragon riders take on the dragon. The ghost of Darwin is pleased as one rider dies when he flies DIRECTLY INTO a purple fireball, slightly improving the gene pool.)

Karla:
War. Repitition. Power. Cycles. Dominion. Power. More power. Corruption. All for Lodoss. Sake of island. You are too powerful

Parn:
What? Us EIGHT people? Karla, you really are an idiot.

Spark:
Take Mar! He's enormously powerful! He could ruin everything, I tell you!

Wagnard:
Latin latin latin.

Neese, in an effort to make the whole Spark/Neese romance less horribly disgusting, has aged about five years. She's bustin' out all over, man.

Wagnard:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ashram:
Wagnard, you're an idiot. I'm leaving. Go ahead and become ruler of the dead. I'm gonna go sail to a new continent and mind-meld with a god.

Wagnard:
Ok.

The Intricacies of a Dragon Battle

ALL THREE FRAMES OF IT

Karla:
Narse was your final test.

Deedlit:
'kay. We didn't beat him, though. Go kill Mycen.

Spark:
Take Mar! He is the power within us all!

Karla:
If you kill yourselves, I'll stop Wagnard.

Parn:
Deal. Crack suicide squad… attack!

Group:
Dot dot dot.

(Deedlit smacks Parn on the back of the head)

(Spark attacks Karla, goes right through her. Spark tries several times, not quite getting the picture.)

Parn:
Ghim!

Deedlit smacks Parn on the back of the head

Karla:
Is that your FINAL ANSAH?

Karla disappears. The groups runs to the castle.

And Now What You've all Been Waiting For:

A dark room... The din of battle.. the lights come on. Spark is hanging over a huge precipice and over him, standing on the cliff is Wagnard holding out his hand.

Wagnard:
Spark… Parn never told you what happened to your father…

Spark:
He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Wagnard:
No Spark… I am your father!

Spark:
No… That's NOT TRUE. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!